Just yesterday a woman at our church came to talk a spell with me. She told me how much she enjoyed praise last week (when I had the "privelage" of leading). She told me I should consider cutting an album. [Hmmm... She's the second person to have said that to me.] I politely chuckled, gave my thanks for the compliment and continued with my lunch.
*************
It's hard to deflect the attenion from yourself and to aim it at the One to whom it belongs. We as humans crave attention. We were born with it. Since childhood we've saught the praise of our parents, friends, teachers, colleagues, etc. The world tells us we're only as good as what other people think of us. We glow with pride as our bosses tell us how pleased they are with what we've done. We hold our heads a bit higher as our teachers tell us how much they enjoyed our essay. There's a lightness to our step when someone tells us how particularly beautiful or thin we look today. And I smile impishly as a woman tells me I should record...
I've read a few articles and books by some noteworthy worship leaders and they all agree that to be in the "spotlight" is a dangerous place. They say it's a daily struggle with your ego and your pride. And at times, you are burdened because of your God-given gift. Seems contradicatory - to struggle in faith because of the gift He's given you, but it is real, I can testify to that. [BTW, I'm not comparing myself to the Chris Tomlins and Darlene Zshechs out there (they're way out of my league!). Just relating my struggles to theirs] And I wonder if I'm the only one on our team who feels this way. Is my faith that much weaker than those on our team?
And how do you accept compliments? To be honest, I've never been good at accepting a compliment. I've always felt a little... uneasy. Maybe it's because I really didn't get a lot of it as a child. Having typical uber-conservative Korean parents, none could blame me I suppose. But I also think part of it has to do with my perfectionism intermixed with my low self-esteem, criticalness and pride. I don't really believe the compliments I receive a lot of the time. I think I (or someone else) could do a MUCH better job. Or I think that the other person is just being polite.
So, I pose these questions to you, my friends:
* How do you accept compliments for God-given things/talents?
* How do you elevate HIM and make yourself smaller (without becoming some quivering, depressed person with no self-esteem)? How do you do so (deflect from yourself) without seeming rude or ungrateful to the person who gives the compliment?
* How do you feel good (but not too good) about the person/woman you are?
Monday, May 08, 2006
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Baby Steps...
I read this passage this morning and thought I'd share it with you, my loverly friends...
[DISCLAIMER: This is a LONG entry... Read at your own discretion.]
How could God love us so? It's incomparable. Indescribable. Unfathomable. Despite who He is, He CHOSE to love us?!? He wrestles with Himself (being completely Holy, and God Almighty) and His mercy, love, and grace shine through.
The version I read this morning said that His heart "beats" for us. How awesome that the God of the Universe and all of creation loves us so! That His heart would race and pour out at the mere thought of us.
**********
A few of my friends' babies have been learning to walk these days. When I read verse 3, I immediately thought of them.
You see the unsureness in her eyes. Can I really do this? they seem to say. But at the same time there's this eagerness - like some innate force within her is compelling her to stand on her two feet, to move. Her legs aren't used to the physical demand she's now putting on them. They wobble and eventually give. She falls. She'll fall time and time again, but it's OK because it's all a part of the process. It's all a part of growing.
She reaches out and asks that you hold her up.
You take her two little hands in yours and you lead her.
She relies on your strength to give her strength now. Though her steps are wobbly, she trusts that you won't let her fall. And you won't let her give up because you know it's a pain and frustration she's going to have to endure. You won't always be there to carry her, she needs to learn to stand on her own.
Pretty soon she's walking. Soon she'll be running. And you watch from the sidelines - always on the ready in case she falls. And she will eventually. But you'll be there to pick her up, tend to the wounds, wipe her tears and send her on her way again.
The Father's heart surpasses this, I think. He holds us up in His hands every moment of our lives. And He NEVER lets go - through trials, distractions, other loves, and though our hearts wander. He is persistent and faithful. He will never let go. Even in our last days when there's no more strength in our hands to hold on and death is a breath away, He will still hold on. And on that day He'll lead us home.
[DISCLAIMER: This is a LONG entry... Read at your own discretion.]
Hosea 11 (New Living Translation)
New Living Translation (NLT)
Holy Bible. New Living Translation copyright © 1996 by Tyndale Charitable Trust. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers.
Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.
Hosea 11
The LORDs Love for Israel
1"When Israel was a child, I loved him as a son, and I called my son out of Egypt. 2But the more I[a] called to him, the more he rebelled, offering sacrifices to the images of Baal and burning incense to idols. 3It was I who taught Israel[b] how to walk, leading him along by the hand. But he doesn't know or even care that it was I who took care of him. 4I led Israel along with my ropes of kindness and love. I lifted the yoke from his neck, and I myself stooped to feed him.
5"But since my people refuse to return to me, they will go back to Egypt and will be forced to serve Assyria. 6War will swirl through their cities; their enemies will crash through their gates and destroy them, trapping them in their own evil plans. 7For my people are determined to desert me. They call me the Most High, but they don't truly honor me.
8"Oh, how can I give you up, Israel? How can I let you go? How can I destroy you like Admah and Zeboiim? My heart is torn within me, and my compassion overflows. 9No, I will not punish you as much as my burning anger tells me to. I will not completely destroy Israel, for I am God and not a mere mortal. I am the Holy One living among you, and I will not come to destroy.
10"For someday the people will follow the LORD. I will roar like a lion, and my people will return trembling from the west. 11Like a flock of birds, they will come from Egypt. Flying like doves, they will return from Assyria. And I will bring them home again," says the LORD.
How could God love us so? It's incomparable. Indescribable. Unfathomable. Despite who He is, He CHOSE to love us?!? He wrestles with Himself (being completely Holy, and God Almighty) and His mercy, love, and grace shine through.
The version I read this morning said that His heart "beats" for us. How awesome that the God of the Universe and all of creation loves us so! That His heart would race and pour out at the mere thought of us.
**********
A few of my friends' babies have been learning to walk these days. When I read verse 3, I immediately thought of them.
You see the unsureness in her eyes. Can I really do this? they seem to say. But at the same time there's this eagerness - like some innate force within her is compelling her to stand on her two feet, to move. Her legs aren't used to the physical demand she's now putting on them. They wobble and eventually give. She falls. She'll fall time and time again, but it's OK because it's all a part of the process. It's all a part of growing.
She reaches out and asks that you hold her up.
You take her two little hands in yours and you lead her.
She relies on your strength to give her strength now. Though her steps are wobbly, she trusts that you won't let her fall. And you won't let her give up because you know it's a pain and frustration she's going to have to endure. You won't always be there to carry her, she needs to learn to stand on her own.
Pretty soon she's walking. Soon she'll be running. And you watch from the sidelines - always on the ready in case she falls. And she will eventually. But you'll be there to pick her up, tend to the wounds, wipe her tears and send her on her way again.
The Father's heart surpasses this, I think. He holds us up in His hands every moment of our lives. And He NEVER lets go - through trials, distractions, other loves, and though our hearts wander. He is persistent and faithful. He will never let go. Even in our last days when there's no more strength in our hands to hold on and death is a breath away, He will still hold on. And on that day He'll lead us home.
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