There is much unrest in my heart as of late. Job security and comfort wane with each passing day. Each day thoughts of uncertainty and what-ifs plague my soul.
Every day is filled with grayness. Light hides itself. It’s cold and dark and dank.
Today, much to our surprise and shock, the first round of lay-offs started. They were done discreetly. So quietly, in fact, that I was ignorant of them until late in the afternoon when I’d overheard some co-workers’ discussion. The pile of boxes in the back room sit ominously now. I’m worried.
Just now, walking down the hall a short while ago, my eyes caught sight of the horizon just before dusk. The gleam of gold breaking the darkness of day tells this worrisome soul that there is a silver lining. Just beyond my reach, but near enough to give hope on gloomy days such as these.
In all of this, I’m forcing myself to remember the truth of the matter: That I am loved and cared for by an infinite, immeasurably gracious and faithful Savior. That He desires my heart to race towards Him. To hear His footsteps as he runs towards. To behold Him and be held in His gaze.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Monday, January 04, 2010
Confessions of a Relationship-aholic
As most take on the daunting task of pursuing New Year's resolutions, I reflect on the past year -- of all that's transpired, with and without.
This year I plan on continuing on this journey towards openness and active love. Quality over quantity. But, even as I resolve my heart to do this, there is some amount of hesitation, lament and... skepticism.
To pursue the heart of Christ is hard enough. But, to live out that same love for others, is perhaps the hardest thing to do. It requires a lot of patience, which I'm sadly coming to realize wanes each day. Compassion, forgiveness and humility are also things that don't come as naturally as I once thought. Sadly.
This year, as I take this bull by the horns, I realize that many relationships will have to fall through the cracks. Many, in fact, already have. It's necessary I suppose so that I can allow God to nurture and deepen the relationships that matter most. The rest will scatter like chaff... my frail heart hurts to think about it.
Before I end my nonsensical confession, I leave you with an article that perhaps best describes what I long for (and need) in every relationship I care about. Please read it, reflect on it, use is as a barometer for every relationship in your life -- the ones you care about and want to remain anyway.
This year I plan on continuing on this journey towards openness and active love. Quality over quantity. But, even as I resolve my heart to do this, there is some amount of hesitation, lament and... skepticism.
To pursue the heart of Christ is hard enough. But, to live out that same love for others, is perhaps the hardest thing to do. It requires a lot of patience, which I'm sadly coming to realize wanes each day. Compassion, forgiveness and humility are also things that don't come as naturally as I once thought. Sadly.
This year, as I take this bull by the horns, I realize that many relationships will have to fall through the cracks. Many, in fact, already have. It's necessary I suppose so that I can allow God to nurture and deepen the relationships that matter most. The rest will scatter like chaff... my frail heart hurts to think about it.
Before I end my nonsensical confession, I leave you with an article that perhaps best describes what I long for (and need) in every relationship I care about. Please read it, reflect on it, use is as a barometer for every relationship in your life -- the ones you care about and want to remain anyway.
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