Do You Have to Let It Linger?

Late last night, and into the wee hours of the morning, as rain soaked the earth once more, tears soaked my pillow and my sleep-filled eyes.

I had a dream that I loved someone. Dearly loved him. We were happy. I believed he truly loved me as well. And he did... or so I thought until a friend swept in. He fled his heart (and mine) for hers. I was left picking up pieces of my broken heart and our broken life. Vanishing. When I awoke, I was so heartbroken, so convinced that what I had dreamed was reality, that I cried.

Perhaps there is a small part of me that fears my love life will resemble my mother's and it was only in that safe place, the foggy places of our sub-conscious, that my heart decided to dwell upon it.

How lovely. How lovely indeed...

When In Doubt... Retreat?

Is it strange that whenever I am remotely attracted to someone, I suddenly become deathly afraid that I'll be found out (by him and others)? Terrified that my tiny heart will be trampled and I'll be scoffed at? Fearful of rejection or thought a fool?

Some may say that "it's better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all", but I think the verdict is still out on that.

Pandora's Box

There are a couple recent posts I've taken down and kept hidden. Partly for fear that I'll be discovered. Partly because I'm afraid that by putting them out in the open, anything could happen - good or bad.

I don't like the Unknown, it doesn't always play out in our favor.

Just look at what happened to Pandora.