Contemplation is Name of the Game

At Waterloo, the English troops obeying orders fell on their faces for a time and let the hot fire of the French artillery pass over them. Then they sprang to their feet and rushed to the thickest of the fight and beat back their foes. The Lord wants His people flat on their faces, before they attempt to meet the great crises of life. - A.T. Pierson

God's people are always in process. Jim's closing words today at church. They're still ringing in my ears right now as I sit here typing...

I'm realizing that I've spent far too much time pacing back and forth or tapping my foot impatiently waiting on the Lord to give me the things I want (the things I "need"). Job security. Financial security. A love life. Marriage. Children. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

Maybe it's time I stop and stare at bit more at the Cross and less in the mirror...

Auf Weidersehen. Adieu.

Yesterday I watched as the last of the people in my section of the company said their farewells. It's a sad thing to watch colleagues (friends) pack up their things and leave. It's sadder still knowing they had no choice in the matter -- the unfortunate side of company downsizing.

And, while I remain, I wonder at my longevity here, in this city and at this company. I wonder if I'll have a say when it's my time to leave or if, like them, I'll be told that "there's nothing left for you here."

This afternoon I head down to East Nashville for the third time this week to hang out with one of my friends who is leaving for Portland, OR in a matter of days. I'm trying to prepare myself so I won't cry, but who knows what's to happen.

I really hate good-byes...

Ants in Your Pants

Lately, I've been a bit restless, a tad antsy. Not knowing what's to come and living in a fog of confusion and unanswered questions.

All Quiet on the Western Front

Tonight I met up with two girlfriends at a small Japanese restaurant near my first "home" here in Nashville.

I sat and listened to these beautiful girls share stories of the new love interests in their lives; watched as each giddily read texts from said men and sighed in anticipation. As they shared and compared notes, I sat quiet. There's really nothing noteworthy to report here. All's quiet on the Western Front.

They inquired about my love life and probed as best they could. They told me how ridiculous I was being when I joked that I repel men. But really, when you've no other proof you start to assess and make assumptions. And sometimes, these assumptions aren't good ones.

Oh, I could have told them about the man I'm still quietly interested in. I could share about how I daydream about tender moments with my Yet-To-Be, but I refrained. Too shy to risk the ridicule; too nervous to spill the beans.

Red Light, Green Light

Sometimes all you really need is a definitive gesture.

A sign of some sort. That's all I'm after.