[Haha... I'm recycling blogs... Sorry! I'm lazy!]
I'm sitting here in my room. Much too cold out to be wandering about the streets of Philly (though I wish I could!). I think the cold would be more bearable had we any evidence that winter was indeed HERE. Where is all the snow?!? Seems winter is refusing to cooperate with us, save for some "sprinklin's" (to borrow a friend's words) and the BLISTERINGLY cold winds. It must have been tired of all the complaints of snow from all the years before... Odd when the sun is wanting to share its warmth but finds itself battling to do so in the midst of the blowing winds. But I digress...
But yeah... Here I am sitting in my room and all I can hear is this constant BANGING and CRASHING. You see, my neighbors are renovating. I take it from all the banging and ripping and gouging and hammering that they must be re-tiling the bathroom. It's quite annoying actually because there is NO way to buffer the noise... or get around it. It follows me EVERYWHERE! I've tried to have my AnnieTunes running full blast as high as it can go... but loud noises scare me. I COULD stick my fingers in my ears and scream at the top of my lungs, but I find that to be very tiresome... Besides, how on earth would I be able to type this poignant and eloquent blog? ;p
All this talk and noise of renovating has me wondering about life. So many times I have tried to rehab my life, but been unsuccessful because I'd only been trying to fix the outward things. You can put on the make up, the clothes, the smile, the laugh... but at the end of the day, you are exactly who/where you were/are. Nothing has changed. Have you ever had those moments when you felt like a clown? Trying desperately not to let anyone get close enough to see the cracks in your mask? Wanting to spare them the chaos?
But your problems don't go away because you turn a deaf ear to them. Like this incessant banging next door, you can't avoid the problems in your life. You have to face them dead on. Face the ugliness of your past demons - those monsters and skeletons in the closet of life. And as scary a thing it is to do, to take comfort in the fact that Christ has suffered these demons for us. He's seen the piles of skeletons I've locked up behind closed doors and fake smiles and hasn't blinked an eye.
He's wanting to clean out the closet and hang his forgiveness and acceptance there. To hush all the commotion of life and our sins, so that His voice rings clearer...
Wow, the banging next door has stopped for a moment... time for me to be productive I guess. Until next time friends...
~ a
 | Currently listening : Just Another Diamond Day By Vashti Bunyan Release date: By 19 October, 2004 |
2 comments:
Your entry reminded me of the devotional from last week...it was about seeking after holy spirit. We, as Christians, believe that God saved us from eternal death and Him being our savior, but we don't always trust that he has sent the holy spirit in our lives to dwell in us. There is nothing we cannot face when we believe the power of our father.
BTW, when do you want to come visit us?
I totally want the Currently listening Cd thing you've got going on. Wow. So cool.
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