It was an interesting experience - part monologue. Part sermon. Part lecture on the history of man and his innate desire to appease the gods.
Towards the end, Rob shared a story that hit all too close to home...
Years ago, Rob found himself at wits end, caught up in the act of being a "good Christian." Overly concerned with what this person thought of him or that person had to say.
He was exhausted... "down to [his] very soul."
Soon after, a friend invited Rob out for coffee. This brother looked at him and, with love and concern in his voice, said, "You know, Rob... it doesn't have to be like this."
I know, I know, but you don't understand...
Rob... it doesn't have to be like this...
Yeah, but...
ROB, it doesn't have to be like this.
His friend continued to calmly repeat this mantra - a plea for the very life of his friend. And each time he did so, it was as if he was throwing a lifesaver out into the ocean Rob found himself drowning in.
I could relate to Rob. I, too, have found (am finding) myself gasping for air. Like a ghost dragging along an ever-growing burden and desperately searching for relief, a hand to guide me through the mire.
My heart has been heavy these past few days. Each day welcomes me with dark clouds. Each moment, a silent plea for rescue.
But I will remind myself once again (and every moment my heart will allow)...
Annie. It DOESN'T have to be like this....
1 comment:
I know those moments, I think last year was SO full of them.
This year isn't. Sometimes I worry that I am going overboard, the other direction, because I'm not as concerned as I used to be, not as crazy anxious as I used to be. But I have to remember that God led me here, to this place of peace, and although I'm not in control and my life isn't perfectly without dark days, it's better this way than it ever was that way.
I'm praying for you Annie.
:)
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