Blast from the past (My life in vivid technicolor)

I caught the tail-end of this movie tonight.

The story was all too familiar. It told of the struggle of an Asian-American girl trying to balance (and honor) her heritage and her identity as an (North) American. Her parents want her to be one thing. She knows she was made to be something more.

She falls in love with an "American" boy and all hell breaks loose when her parents learn about it. After much persuasion and guilt, she gives in and continues her (un)happy existence trapped in her parents' home and their overbearing expectations.

The scene I caught was eerily similar to what I had experienced this past Thanksgiving.

Her parents - and their friends no doubt - convince her to go on a blind date with a DOCTOR (and every mother in the world sighs hopefully for their daughters)

Jade (Sandra Oh's character) lets her mom dress her, style her hair and paint her face until the funky starving artist she once knew herself to be is but a faint memory. The Doctor arrives. She submissively allows him to seat her in his BMW. They drive away.

Away from her parents' home and watchful eyes, she asks the the Doctor to pull over and exits the car. She walks, then jogs, then runs away. Away from him, away from the expectations and opinions. Away from the fear (or maybe towards it?) And all the while, you can hear her panting, trying to catch her breath and breathe in freedom.

I wanted to run like Jade, but there were no familiar streets for my feet to pound. Like Jade, I realized that my time here within the confines of my family's expectations is slowly coming to a close. A new chapter is being written, new scenes and characters are being added to this story. The director is calling for a change of scenery and a new resolution.




It's odd. I first saw this movie in high school, just catching the first third. I think I changed the channel that Saturday afternoon because of an uncomfortable scene [Annie blushes]. Or maybe it was because BayWatch or Star Trek: The Next Generation was due to start. I don't know. But I find it to be in God's perfect timing that I caught the end of the movie tonight. I don't think it would have resonated as much then - in my naiive, overly sentimental and anxious self - as it does now in this place I find myself in today.

As He's constantly urging me to take off my old self, I'm (daintily) removing these old garments of obligation and expectation. I'm starting to like the things He's clothing me with and am cringing at what He's revealed.

It's like looking through old pictures from the early '90s. You can't help but shudder in disbelief at the person you were (and dressed like) back then.

Now is better.

SO much better.