I have found myself hesitating to speak and write lately. To let you into my life, into this turmoil. I want to speak the truth, but right now, it ain't so pretty. More like a steamroller running off its tracks, careening into piles of rubble.
I cannot write... literally. I've never really thought of myself as a good writer, but at least my earlier posts were easy to follow (get through), "poignant" or witty. Lately, however, they seem to be a jumble of words - prickly and erratically pouring out like lumpy curds of rotten milk down the drain.
And oddly, the lack of comments on my posts leaves me wondering if people have tuned out because I've depressed them so. If they've found better places to go. Sites that make them laugh or take them on the Funship cruise of life.
This is my life, folks. I'm sorry if it bothers you or dampens your day, but here it is. It's not been pockets of posies, I'm afraid. Just coals. Fistfuls of coals that I'm hoping/praying/waiting to become diamonds in due time.
For now, this is it. Do with it(me/this blog) as you will.
2 comments:
It doesn't dampen my day. I'm discouraged when you're discouraged, but even in the midst of your turmoil, you're seem to have a pretty good head on your shoulders and I know that you know that change and transition is on the way.
Just keep holding on to that!
not at all, dear. i just hope that writing things down will lift your day somehow, even if it's just a little.
i just haven't had much time on the computer because of noah lately. been so clingy and cranky... :(
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