I am in mourning over a friendship I knew had ended months ago. One that I had hoped would still work, despite differences. Sadly, it cannot. At least not right now. Perhaps never.
Last night, after all was confirmed, I went to Centennial Park to join the crowds watching Batman that night. I had hoped it would distract my heart and mind for at least a few hours. But, I was in no mood to watch. Instead, I called my good friend Jess and poured out my heart to her.
I cried. A lot. Tears at being so hurt. Tears for hurting people. And I wonder where God is here. What purpose there was to all of this. What I am to learn. How I am to grow and stand as bruised as I am.
I had always lived by a motto of hoping for the best and preparing for the worst. But, in this situation, I don't know what the best is. I don't know what to hope for nor what to hope in for that matter.
I just pray nothing worse happens. I don't think I can handle it.
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