I. am. drained. Exhausted. Fighting to stand and breathe. Falling apart.
For the past week or so, an all too familiar and never welcomed companion came to visit me. Sorrow. That invisible beast that burdens your soul and causes your feet to drag, your eyes to well up with tears, your shoulders to slump. The stress of work and then a minor tiff with a friend just about did me in. It was all I could do to NOT weep at my desk.
I'm beginning to think I may have mild depression. (Don't know why I just shared that. Fortunately for me and my pride, only 2 people read this, so, I suppose, I'm pretty safe.) If there was even a nano-second of silence, and my mind was quiet, I could feel the pressure of hot tears collecting just behind my eyes. My mind would start to wander to dark places as I desperately tried to quiet the voice inside my head and ask the Lord to deafen the cacophony with the soothing sound of His. No comfort could be found. Not in the warm embraces, affections or kind words of friends. Not in the sunshine. Nadie. My only solace were a few minor chords I strummed, then plucked, on my trusty guitar.
Life in the minor keys... D minor to be exact. It's pre-tty awesome.
1 comment:
I've played that key before ;)
{metaphorically, of course}
Slumps are real, and it's a good thing. Our hearts tell us what they want, and we so rarely think it's within our grasp. But our hearts still cry out.
I was crying on the elliptical at the gym while watching Gladiator. There isn't much that's sadder than that. But I could feel the weight of my own unfulfilled expectations just pushing down on me and my eye sockets were puffed up with tears. I was just looking for an outlet, or an appropriate time, so that I could drain that weight.
I wish I could send you some energy down the wire. A boost of hope-filled optimism (not false hope, mind you). I'll be praying for yoooz.
Post a Comment