An Illumination (of sorts)

It's been an eternity since I picked up the Bible. I have been a spiritual anorexic, starving myself of spiritual food in order to gain back a (false) sense of control. I have failed. Miserably.

Today I took my first baby steps back and awkwardly pulled His Word out.

I decided I'd start new. A clean slate. A fresh start.

I started at the very beginning. I read. It was as if I was finally coming up for air.

One part stuck out at me. A merciful and much needed smack in the face from my Father in heaven:

15 and let them be lights in the expanse of the sky to give light on the earth." And it was so. 16 God made two great lights—the greater light to govern the day and the lesser light to govern the night. He also made the stars. 17 God set them in the expanse of the sky to give light on the earth, 18 to govern the day and the night, and to separate light from darkness. And God saw that it was good.

Verse 18, in particular hit me hardest.

God created the light "to govern the day and the night, and to separate light from darkness." Once light was formed from the depths of His mind, there was no turning back, no running away from its presence. Light became permanent, a constant in creation.

[Below is what I wrote in response to what I'd read]

God created light to rule, separating it from darkness

Light | Darkness
Morning | Evening
Good | Evil
Saved | Lost
Healed | Broken

If I am a child of God, if I profess that Christ's blood has rescued me, than I am in His light and favor. And though I may presently feel as if I'm consumed in darkness, I am not. Like the heavenly bodies that consistently reign over the day and night, He reigns in the good and bad of my life.

Just as I know the sun is still shining even when storm clouds try to mask its splendor, I know deep down His love burns brighter despite my troubled, wandering heart.