TEN years.
I was shell-shocked.
Then depressed.
Please fill out the attached info page and keep us up-to-date on what you've been doing.I HATE this part of growing older as it reminds me how "unsuccessful" I've been according to normal standards. It's like that annoying woman at EVERY wedding who prods, "So, are you seeing anyone?" or "When are you gonna get married" or "You should REALLY find someone soon... you're not that young anymore."
Name: Same
Spouse's Name: Negative and thanks for the reminder BTW! I appreciate it.
Children's Names: Negative, unless my students count
Where are you? In a constant state of transition turned self doubt because of this HORRID questionnaire
What are you doing? Working for a company whose office decor is straight out of some horrid 80s flick
The funny thing is: I've never been the ambitious type. Not really at least. I'm not one of those 5-Year-plan types... at least not anymore.
Sure there was a time when I painstakingly planned out my life. But, as I've grown into ME, I've realized that it's all pretty much in the wind, in God's hands (not to say there haven't been moments when I've wanted to have a hand in penning the chapters of my life).
I guess more than anything, I'm worried (not really) of what my old classmates might think of me. To see them boast about their husbands, wives, kids, jobs, bank accounts, etc. And then turn to ask, "And you, what have you been up to?"
I could lie like Romie and Michelle did. Say I invented Spenda or something. Dance and fall in love with the Class Geek (FYI: I went to a Magnet/Gifted school, so we were all pretty much GEEKS in our own ways) But why? Who are these people that I should feel the need to impress them?
As I'm growing in my understanding of who I am in His eyes (still don't have a clearly defined picture), I'm growing more comfortable in the fact that I really don't need a lot. No fancy cars or clothes (though I will continue to drool over Marc Jacobs, Tracy Reese, Chloe, Stella McCartney, Tod's, shoes, bags and more shoes and bags). I don't need a 6-figure income or a gigantic house I won't ever really appreciate.
I want to LIVE.
See the world.
Encounter different cultures and people.
Engage in deep discussions that stretch my understanding and comforts.
Forge close, intimate relationships.
Challenge and be challenged.
Help those in need (still trying to figure out how exactly to do so)
Embrace music and laughter.
Weather Life's storms.
Soak in Grace and Acceptance.
Stretch my faith and GROW in it.
Find a place to root myself.
Find and hold onto love.
Not be afraid to love and be loved.
Belong.
I don't need a lot. Wanting, however, is a completely different story and somewhat of a struggle to overcome.
3 comments:
ah...
love your responses. and yes.
to everything you wrote. i hear ya...
you said: guess more than anything, I'm worried (not really) of what my old classmates might think of me. To see them boast about their husbands, wives, kids, jobs, bank accounts, etc. And then turn to ask, "And you, what have you been up to?"
My gad. That's exactly why i skipped mine.
I would have had to say, "umm, i haven't been up to anything." And who wants to say such a thing?
It's easy to think highly of things OTHER people can list, and not realize how much you yourself have to offer. Have you discussed this with a dear and trusted friend? I bet if you called someone you know well and love, they could help you - telling you what you've done and been up to that you are forgetting or overlooking. We're our own worst critics. So no one at your reunion is going to be judging you more harshly than you are yourself! I mean that in a comforting way. haha...
Anywho, it makes me think of a conversation I had at work yesterday about "First World Woes" - like how many portable devices you carry with you, pairing things down to have minimal items, etc. Apparently there is even a book called "Artisanal Olive Oil and Other First World Woes" that is supposedly hilarious.
I think you've surely done a great bit about which to be proud - taught students, loved people, enjoyed friendships and events... You don't have to be the President to be proud! Speaking of which, I bet even Bill Clinton didn't go to his own high school reunion - or at least, he probably didn't want to, after the Monica Lewinski scandal. No body's perfect. People just hide skeletons.
Why not go to your HS reunion with the intention of loving people, of being Christ to them... of NOT judging and evaluating, but encouraging and learning about people. If you keep asking them questions, most people are very happy to talk about themselves! :)
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