...

Ugh... I need a vacation. Fresh(er) air. A day away from these familiar smells and sights and sounds.

My head is hurting again. I'm staring at the bottle of Ibuprofen and debating whether or not I should go for a second dose or grit my teeth and edure the pain.

I hear my coworker saying, "Whatevah" in her New Yowkuh accent...

My thoughts exactly.

Pill-Popping Creature of the Night

I've had a migraine or headache for some portion of the day all this past week. And another glorious Saturday was spent in bed, all day, trying to ward off the pain and chills that have persisted since Thursday. My body is constantly cold (no matter how many layers of clothes, space heaters or electric blankets I'm using). My joints ache. My head is raging against me. The light is making me nauseous. As I type this, I'm sitting in the dark with a headband wrapped around my head to relieve some pressure (or add more?).

I don't feel like myself anymore... maybe I'm turning into some kind of cold-blooded, nocturnal reptile? (It would explain the dry, scaly skin I've had on occasion). Ack!

I should sleep, but my mind, though in pain, is wide awake. It's been on sleep mode for a better part of the day and is now refusing to rest again. It's past 2am now and church is in 9 hours. I need to rest if I'm to enjoy the Sabbath. Lord, help me... please?

Ugh... Pride and Prejudice and Everything in Between

My good opinion once lost, is lost forever.
- Mr. Darcy (aka... my McDreamy)

If you've read the last post, you know the most recent goings on at work.

But, yesterday, with this week's challenge to resolve conflicts in our lives as an act of love still ringing in my ears, I was confronted with my "problem child" again. She was talking to another co-worker (fine). Who was in her office (also fine). Instead of going into the office to speak with her, Ms. Loud, decided she would stay just outside of the OM's office and continue their conversation while she stood at my desk. This would have been fine had it not been for the fact that a client had just rang. I had to repeatedly ask this patient gentleman to repeat himself as I couldn't hear him over her. I finally had to resort to calling out her name and giving her a stern look. I felt like my 2nd grade teacher, trying to get the attention of Timothy, the token loud-mouth and class pest.

At the end of the day, the OM came and told me that she's given our new co-worker a second chance. "T's alright. She's calmed down and is trying." I could hear in her voice a subliminal message to wipe the slate clean as well. But it's not always that easy for me. I'd like to say I give people the benefit of the doubt. A second and third chance. However, should my "kindness" or patience be worn thin and no attempts are made by the other party, it's often very hard to win back my favor. I hate this about me.

Jesus said to forgive your neighbor seventy-seven times. Why is it that I can't even meet half that?

Lord, teach me to forgive, and in forgiving, love as you have loved (and forgiven) me.

Immodium-AD(D)

I hate it when I can't find a way to like someone. It makes me feel icky.

There's this new woman at work. She's loud. OBNOXIOUSLY loud. She used to have her own catering company, but it fell through a few years ago.

My problem with her is this: She has the worst case of verbal diarrhea I have ever witnessed. Moreso than my boss. She talks. A lot. On and on and on and on. Mostly about herself. What she used to do when she ran her company. How things are so different (and thus stupid) here than they were at her company. How she knows everyone on the eastern seaboard.

She's taken credit for work not done on her own. Attempts to boss around the OM and I and have us do all her work. Often times I think she's forgotten that she's no longer the employer, but an employee... just like the rest of us.

Did I mention she talks? A LOT. And very loudly. Her constant words and volume of voice leave me mentally exhausted, head reeling. My brain and ears ache at the end of each day.

It's nearly 6. I have a bit more to type up in this proposal, but I think I'll call it a day. I'm going home to my quiet room to go hide under my covers and rest... in silence. My ears and head are do for a few moments of peace before small group tonight.

EDIT:: I went to Small Group (after resting my ears at home for an hour) and, lo and behold, the night's lesson was "Resolving Conflict." Sometimes God has a funny way of speaking into our hearts and present situations...

L'enfant

Last night I slept like a baby... "litrally" (as AllieD always puts it).

• Ate dinner.
• Fell asleep for 4 hours.
• Woke up and entertained myself 'til about 3am.
• Went back to sleep.
• And finally woke up this morning at about 8:15.

This, unfortunately, has become routine for the past week as I've fought (and lost to) bouts of insomnia.

But, to my surprise and amazement, I wasn't groggy or irritable at work. And, thankfully, the boss was in a rather chipper mood. (Looking forward to his day off with the grandkids no doubt.)

When I came home, I lay in bed. It was the first time all day that my head started to spin. I contemplated skipping my Tuesday gym-time to sleep (which I did all last week). But, despite me, I went.

I stretched my body, pulling out the kinks and stiffness from Sunday's flag football practice. I walked around the track, preparing for the discipline I was to inflict on it in the coming minutes. Jay-Z blasting through my earphones, I ran (as much as I could bare). Feet keeping time with the beat's loop.

Running. Lifting. Running. Crunching. Pant-ing. Run-ning. Pant--ing. Crunch--ing.

I stopped just short of the 2-hour mark when the dizzy spells returned. The body had had enough. I conceded, called a truce, stretched and went home.

My shins are burning.





And now these sleepy eyes tell me it's due time to hit the hay... *yawn*

Good night moon, Good night stars
Good night friends both near and far...

Mother-Daughter: Strangers No More?

My girl, AllieDearest, shared about recent discoveries she'd made about her mom. I think I might have inadvertently had the same experience with my own mom this evening while having dinner together. Below is an overview of our conversation:

Annibelle: I'm gonna head to Atlanta in April to volunteer for that conference I helped out with 2 weeks ago.
Mom: Really? Who are you going with?
A: No one... yet. I'm going alone, I think, as of right now.
M: [Surprised] Alone? Why?
A: Just because.

[10 minutes or so later]

A: So, how would you feel if I married, say... a musician? Or a singer? Or a writer?
M: [Hopeful] Why?!? Are you seeing someone?
A: [Matter-of-factly] Nope. Just wondering. [Pause] What about an artist?
M: They don't make money. You need to find someone who can take care of you. You can't worry about money all the time.
A: I don't care about money. I'm not interested in accountants or lawyers.
M: What's wrong with lawyers?
A: I hate them. I hate lawyers.
M: Accountants make a good living...
A: [Interrupting] They're boring. I haven't met one interesting accountant. [Annie pauses and remembers the crazy, Brazilian, Boston-transplant-slash-accountant-slash-photophile-slash-Jesus loving girl she'd roomed with 2 weeks ago in VA] Wait. Nevermind. Scratch that. I've met very few interesting accountants, especially any who are boys.

A: What if I brought home a [caucasian] boy?
M: [Caucasian] boys are OK. They're nice. As long as he makes you happy.
A: [Taken aback] Really? You wouldn't care if I didn't marry a nice Korean boy?
M: No. Why would I? As long as he loves you and makes you happy and treats you good, I don't care.
A: Hmmm... interesting.

[Later on...]

M: I worried so much about you when you were little... Winters were so cold, and we were so poor back then. You could see your breath in winter.
A: Didn't you take me to the emergency room when I was a baby?
M: Yes. You had a fever over 100 degrees. I rushed you to the hospital and they just dunked you in a cold bath. Poor little baby. All [you] did was cry and cry. You made me worry so much about you. [Pause] Your brother was such an easy baby...

M: You don't remember, but you fell down the stairs headfirst when you were a baby.
A: [Finally having a reason for her colorful "personality"] Ah... that explains so much.

[sigh]