Office Space

Today was horrible. I will not sugar-coat it for you at all.

Abusive words were directed towards me because of my crazy coworker, the she-clone of my insane boss, and her failure to check over her work (that I had to do).

This continued on throughout the day. More pressure for me to "cooperate" and "help the team" while she sat in her office doing who knows what, taking countless cigarette breaks and personal calls, grunting whenever more than one phone line rang and exclaiming her retarded "OH MY GOD!", yet doing absolutely nothing to help.

Today, I made it known - in less subtle ways that before - that... I DO NOT LIKE HER.

• I don't like how she strolls into the office at 10:30 or 11 with her stupid excuses.
• I do not like how she lies and tries poorly to cover them up.
• I HATE that she NEVER listens, nor gives anyone the time or respect to LET THEM FINISH TALKING before she rambles.
• I do not like the obnoxious way she chews. So audibly. It's like listening to a cow chewing gum and cud at the same time.
• I do not like how she eavesdrops and gets into things that have NOTHING to do with her.
• I do not like how she checks up on me, stares AT ME as she's walking by, thinks that anything on my desk is up for grabs for her reading/reviewing.
• I do not like how she makes promises to her clients without consulting me, the "graphics design department", if I: a) am able to do it; or b) that I have the time to do it.
• I do not like how she can't focus, spending no more than 10min at her desk doing her work.
• And, I hate that she gets commission for the work that I do, simply because she's in "sales" and I'm a lowly administrative assistant.
  

My conflict with SheClone has been ongoing. Pretty much since the day she started working at the office. It was barely bearable to work under my insane boss, BUT to have 2 of them? Impossible. It's like hell on earth sometimes with their ridiculous shenanigans.

I have struggled with the guilt of not being Christlike in patience or compassion. (Sometimes I still do). I am angry and short-fused. A lot. I have had violent thoughts race through my mind. Thoughts of inflicting physical harm.

I don't like this me.

Over these past months, almost every friend (real and imaginary) has advised me, PLEADED with me, to please find another job.

But, I am scared of the unknown. Afraid to struggle. Terrified of being turned down for positions. Especially with the economy and the job market as shaky as they are.

So, my dear, beloved friends: I ask for your help. For prayers (LOTS of prayer!). For advice. For encouragement and pearls of wisdom. For help in finding another job and interviewing (again). Help me push this door closed and lock it so I can see the windows God is opening (hopefully) along the periphery.