Artificial Heart

I spent a full day gluttonously consuming an assortment of wondrously glorious grilled foods.

2 barbecues in less than 10 hours. I am full and sleepy even now as I relive it...

As I was leaving the home of my co-worker, she gave me a big bear hug and whispered in my ear "I love you."

Those words resounded in my body and sank like a boulder in my sea of thoughts.

"I love you"

I

LOVE

YOU

I've never been one to be open about my affections or endearment for others. Having had so many people in my life leave has caused me to be a bit callous. And it TERRIFIES me. I wonder aloud sometimes What the hell is wrong with you?!?! Why can't you just say it? It's just 3 little words.

But they're not. Not little in the least. Between the spaces, between the words and letters are intricately deep rivers of emotions.

Attachment.

History.

Connection.

Rivers that have been flooded with painful memories. Rivers I have drowned in and then been reborn through once His hand has pulled my out from the trenches of my sins and past. And yet those words... those little words. They get stuck in my throat like thistle.

I

LOVE

YOU



These 3 little words... Why do they intimidate me so?