Oopsie Daze-y

Yesterday after church - and a quick lunch with Sarah, Sonja and Robert - I headed off to work to help prepare for a wedding reception my company was hired to cater. I arrived home around 11:45pm supremely exhausted, covered in a film of sweat, sugar and wine and in dire need of a shower.

HOWEVER, instead of taking a shower and going to bed at a somewhat normal hour, I lay there in my bed. Unable to move. Drained yet unable to sleep. So, I did what any normal person would do - watched some disturbing fact-based psychodrama called "An American Crime" starring Ellen Page.

I fell asleep sometime around 3:30am.

I'm at the office, but am pretty sure the brain has gone fishing...

Lord, help me...

Pho Real

Tonight was an interesting one. One full of laughs and tears.

I shared my "story" with SW over bowls of Pho (Vietnamese noodles). I shared a lot. More than I thought I would. But it was good to get it out, even if it meant inviting someone into the mess that is my life at times.

We unhinged the closet door and let the skeletons out. I placed each one neatly across the table for her to see. And, where I expected judgement and "advice", I found acceptance, empathy and love.

And, there in the middle of that tiny restaurant on a hot summer night, slurping noodles and broth, watching as the rain swept through the city streets, we cried. It was a moment, a moment between two strangers-then-acquaintances-now-sisters.

Too Broke for Baroque...

I just saw this and drooled a bit:

Update

I've just sent in my resume for the aforementioned position.

Now, the waiting/praying/hoping/nail-biting begins...

Too Good to Be True? (Quite Possibly)

While doing my daily rounds through the ol' Craigslist job posts, I came across an awesome opportunity.  It blends my supreme analness and control-freakdom with my love of music and art.  And it quite possibly might finally bring me to "Music City" ...  Finally.

I'm scared and excited.  Relieved yet self-conscious.  What if I'm rejected?  What if I'm under-qualified like I'm pretty sure I am considering all the Music Business grads peeling through the gates of the job market race.  

I wonder if I'm good enough.  I fear I'll fail...  And yet, I can't believe the window God's opening before me...

Wish me luck.  I think I may need a galaxy's worth of prayers for this doozie! 

If You Happen to Be in Philly Tonight...

Please consider coming out and showing your support for this event. And, if you're just a little to far out to come, feel free to read up on organization to learn ways you might be able to help.

Ugh.

Today was murderously taxing. Didn't eat (save for a bowl of Cheerios this morning). Didn't drink more than a cup of coffee and about a glass's worth of milk (also with breakfast) all day. Witnessed my obnoxious boss demean people because of his constant lack of organization or priority.

And the only thing that cheered me up all day was this.  Enjoy!

Thunder. Lightning...

... The way You love me is frightening.

Last night we had a brief reprieve from the staunch heat while a thunderstorm blew through Philadelphia.

Last night I did something I hadn't done in years: Sat and watched the lightning pierce through the night sky.

Lightning and thunder have always amazed me. The unexpected power and ferocity in which they rush is so captivating. 

Oddly enough this stolen moment spent storm-gazing there at my windowsill, brought a rush of peace and stillness to my soul, which was much needed (and appreciated).

And for a second there, I had a "Are You there, God? It's me, [Annie]" moment.

Even in the harried craziness of life, be still, child... and know that I AM GOD.

The Heat is On...

I was just outside running an errand for work and all I have to say of the heat is:

UNGODLY!
SINFUL!
VICIOUS!
EEEEEVIL!

It's blazing out. I mean, my skin felt like it was going to singe or melt off my body. That's how hot it is outside.

I'm holding onto the hopes that heaven is a forever-Spring day.

WordPress-ing Matters

I've just linked my Blogger to WordPress.

[Muahaha... step 1 of 10238012830129381203 in my plans to take over the blogging world one reader at a time. Literally. ]

Liquified.

It's going to be hellishly hot the next 10 days or so here in Philly. For those of you who don't know Philly in heat... Yeah, it ain't pretty. Nosiree.

Part of me wants to continue this process of acclimating to the weather (e.g. wearing thicker, longer clothes to get used to the heat, so I'm not nearly naked or stuck in a freezer come July). But the sensible, impatient part of me is seriously considering wearing shorts and summer dresses... Even if the skeevy, weirdos that work in the back oggle me.

[Pause]

On second thought... maybe not.

What I Want RIIIIIIIGHT Now...

Driving In Circles

Ugh... I'm going through another rough patch.



So many things to process...

... finding my strength, hope, peace and identity in my God

... taking on the character of and personifying the "ezer" He created me to be

... feeling my way through this whole messed up thing with my non-existent father

... trying to hear God's voice and see His direction

... wondering where I'll be this time next year

... fearing I don't have the faith to make the big move

... wondering if everything I want is everything He wants or if I'm just being delusional and lusting after this elusive dream



I don't know.



I'm confused. Unsettled. Agitated. Itchy.



I need to find a new job. Need to. Gotta.



Ugh...





[P.S. Why does it seem like I'm always finding my way back to this same state of confusion and unrest?]

Lions and Tigers and Bears, O My! (Well, not so much lions)

There's so much to share from this past weekend's liberti women's retreat. So much that I still need to process and meditate over. So many things that I'm still trying to make sense of...

It'll have to wait for another time... I'll keep you posted.