Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Driving In Circles

Ugh... I'm going through another rough patch.



So many things to process...

... finding my strength, hope, peace and identity in my God

... taking on the character of and personifying the "ezer" He created me to be

... feeling my way through this whole messed up thing with my non-existent father

... trying to hear God's voice and see His direction

... wondering where I'll be this time next year

... fearing I don't have the faith to make the big move

... wondering if everything I want is everything He wants or if I'm just being delusional and lusting after this elusive dream



I don't know.



I'm confused. Unsettled. Agitated. Itchy.



I need to find a new job. Need to. Gotta.



Ugh...





[P.S. Why does it seem like I'm always finding my way back to this same state of confusion and unrest?]

3 comments:

yellowinter said...

you need to go, A. if it doesn't work out, you can always come back. hey, let's talk. soon.
i know you have the strength and the faith. He has already given it to you, my dear A.
wish i could hug you across the screen right now.

Rebecca said...

I miss you friend!!!!!!! I really wanna call/email/facebook/text you soon...cos I really wanna see you/hug you/hang out with you/dream with you/hope with you again soon :) xoxo

Anonymous said...

I second the whole "I need to find a new job, need, GOTTA!"... yes.. just do it, don't think about it. focus and dont' let anything distract you! You can do it! you can!